Dear Survivors...

Dear Angie,

Girl, I'm so proud of you! You've been kicking so much ass. You're still my favorite, though, so here's some advice. This is Survivor, you can't kick too much ass or your ass will be gone come merge time. Also? Your team sucks. Really. You're being picked off one at a time. It's sad. You'd better hope they mix up the teams soon or you'll be going. That would make me unhappy.

Don't worry about your victory cry not making sense. I was still behind you with "Yeah! You got that?! In your face!" Because you just stomped your competition. And get rid of Bobby Jon and James. They irk me and you could probably benchpress them. Or, better yet, find a way to get on the other team. You and Ian would make a cute couple. He looks much better on tv than he does on his photo.

Taking the names for you,
R

***

Dear Ian,

You're a geek. And you kick ass. I adore you. Why do you always look like you're wearing lipstick in your photos? And also, the hair? Not loving the bangs, hon. I covet your glasses, though.

I <3 geeks,
R

P.S. Psst! Check out Angie!

***

Dear Tom,

Grrrowr.

Really.

Don't usually go for older guys, but willing to make an exception,
R

***

Dear James,

Why must you soil a perfectly good name? Why do you have to be such an ignorant hick? I cheered so hard when Coby kicked your ass. "Hairdresser" indeed!

I think I hate you,
R

***

Dear Coby,

Loving you! Keep kicking redneck ass!

Smooches,
R